How to Address a Soldier as a Civilian?

Why the title of a military member follows specific rules

How to address a military member when you are a civilian? This is a question that many people ask themselves without daring to admit it for fear of making a blunder, appearing ignorant of customs, or unintentionally offending. However, the rules are simple once you know them, and military personnel sincerely appreciate when a civilian makes the effort to respect them.

In the French army, rank is much more than a title: it is the professional identity of the military, the result of their journey, efforts, and responsibilities. Addressing a military member by their rank is therefore primarily a mark of respect for what they represent. This guide explains everything, from general to simple soldier, both orally and in writing.

The mystery of "mon": where does it come from and when to use it?

You have surely heard "my general," "my colonel," or "my captain." This "mon" that precedes the rank is often misunderstood: it is not a possessive adjective indicating that the military belongs to you! It is actually the abbreviation of "Monsieur," as confirmed by the Académie française.

Ranks preceded by "mon"

The "mon" is used for officers and warrant officers, but only when referring to a man. Here are the relevant ranks:

• My General (brigade general, division general, corps general, army general)
• My Colonel (colonel AND lieutenant colonel both are called "my colonel")
• My Commander
• My Captain
• My Lieutenant (second lieutenant AND lieutenant)
• My Warrant Officer (warrant officer AND chief warrant officer)

Ranks without "mon"

From the rank of sergeant onwards, "mon" disappears. The military is simply called by their rank, with or without their name:

• Sergeant / Chief Sergeant → "Sergeant" or "Chief" (the chief sergeant is commonly called "Chief")
• Corporal / Chief Corporal → "Corporal" followed by the name
• Soldier / Sailor → "Monsieur" followed by the name, or simply the name

Special case: female military personnel

Since "mon" is the abbreviation of "Monsieur," it does not apply to female military personnel. They are addressed directly by their rank, without "mon." Therefore, one would say "General" and not "Mon Général," "Colonel" and not "Mon Colonel." This rule applies to both civilians and military personnel.

Summary table: how to address each rank

Here is the complete table of formulas to use according to the rank, whether you are a male or female civilian, both orally and in writing.

Sources: French Academy — Ministry of Armed Forces — Military Behavior Guide.

How to address a military person in writing: letter and email

Writing to a military person when you are a civilian follows specific rules, especially for an official letter or a formal request. Here is the structure to follow.

The salutation at the beginning of a letter

The letter always starts with the salutation corresponding to the rank. Examples:

• For a general: "General," (male) or "General," (female)
• For a colonel: "Colonel,"
• For a captain: "Captain,"
• For a non-commissioned officer: "Sergeant,"

Polite formulas at the end of a letter

The final polite formula must exactly match the salutation. Here are the classic formulas:

• General: "Please accept, General, the expression of my highest consideration."
• Colonel: "Please accept, Colonel, the expression of my distinguished consideration."
• Captain/Lieutenant: "I beg you to accept, Captain, the assurance of my respectful consideration."
• Non-commissioned officer: "Please accept, Sergeant, the expression of my distinguished greetings."

The 6 mistakes to absolutely avoid

Even with the best intentions, it is easy to make a mistake when addressing a military person. Here are the most common errors and how to avoid them:

• Simply saying "Sir" or "Madam" without mentioning the rank is the basic rule to never forget
• Calling a military member by their first name, unless the relationship is clearly informal and the military member has themselves suggested it
• Guessing the rank at random; if you do not know the rank, politely ask: "May I know your rank, please?"
• Shortening the rank: saying "Lieut" for lieutenant or "Colon" for colonel is reserved for internal camaraderie
• Using "my" for a female military member is the most common mistake made by well-meaning civilians
• Making jokes about the army or discipline during a first meeting is to be avoided even if the person seems relaxed

FAQ: Frequently asked questions

Is a civilian required to use the rank to address a military member?

No, a civilian is not required by regulation to use the rank. According to official practices, civilians can address an officer by calling them by their rank without preceding it with "my." Simply saying "Hello Captain" is perfectly correct for a civilian. It is, however, a mark of respect that is highly appreciated.

How to address a military member of the National Navy?

The National Navy is a special case: it does not use "my" in its internal titles. For a civilian, the practice is to address naval officers as "Sir" followed by their name, except for admirals and commanders where only the rank is used.

How to address a retired military member?

An honorary military member (retired) retains their rank for life. It is therefore perfectly correct and appreciated to continue addressing them by their rank: "My Colonel," "My General"... This is a widely accepted practice in environments where veterans regularly interact with civilians.

Conclusion

How to address a military member when you are a civilian? In summary: always use the rank, precede with "my" for male officers and sergeants, remove "my" for women and non-commissioned officers from the rank of sergeant. In writing, pay attention to the salutation and the closing politeness. And above all, do not hesitate to politely ask for the rank if you do not know it; it is infinitely better than making a mistake.

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